If you read my very first blog post than you probably noticed the term "high needs" within the text. I realize that there are many people out there that aren't going to understand what the term means so I feel I should at least provide a brief explanation.
I'll begin this post by saying when my daughter was born in 2002, and I became a mom for the first time, I was blessed with what is commonly referred to as an "easy baby". She rarely cried. Even when hungry she would often simply suck her fist instead of wailing uncontrollably. She didn't mind waiting if her diaper needed changed, she had no problems eating, she slept in solid 4 hour blocks at night and was almost always content.
Back then I was a single teenage mother and I'll admit, I was blinded into thinking that this is how all babies act. I often wondered to myself why everyone had told me that raising a baby was hard work. Even during the short lived colic phase we went through, I was easily able to cope and we made it through with ease thanks to the dryer and warmed bath towels.
Fast forward to 2012 and I was with the love of my life and expecting a baby boy. My little girl was getting a brother and we were all so excited. During my pregnancy I reminisced about those baby days and dreamed about doing it all over again. I would have a new little person to love and cuddle and care for.
At 37 weeks my water broke and my world was turned upside down. After 14 hours of back labor, a lot of Pitocin and an epidural that was useless, my little boy made his entrance into the world. Within minutes of birth I could already see that he was much different than his sister. When she was born and I held her for the first time she calmed and laid quietly with her eyes closed once she was swaddled. My little man, on the other hand, continued to wail inconsolably as he lay on my chest.
After being whisked away to the nursery and getting cleaned up and transferred to a different room myself, we settled in for our first 24 hours with this beautiful little boy. I was exhausted and needed rest and just knew I could sleep in blocks of 2-3 hours as the baby slept in the room with me. The 3 days I was at the hospital, I don't think I slept more than 30 min. at once. At the time, I blamed the excitement of having a new baby, the visitors and the nursing staff and decided things would be better once we were home.
We arrived home on a Monday and I can honestly say from that time until present has mostly been a blur. A sleep deprived, pull my hair out and scream, blur. This little one never sleeps. Daytime naps are short and sweet, with the longest being about 20 min. if you are lucky. When he is not being held, he's crying. Period. There is no content period of the day. Ever. Bed time is mostly non existent around here. For the first 4 weeks we traded shifts of being awake with him. There was never a moment that we were all asleep at the same time.
Eventually after weeks of this craziness, I logged on to the internet in a desperate search for answers, solutions, remedies...anything. I just needed some rest! It was then that I some how came across the article 12 Features of a High Need Baby by Dr. Sears. When I read this article it was like a lightening bolt had struck me. Everything Dr. Sears mentioned described my little bean exactly. Armed with this information, I stopped looking for a solution and started seeking support instead.
Now, I'll be honest, he is still a very difficult child to deal with. What has changed since I found Dr. Sears' article is that I have come to accept it and found a wonderful group of ladies to go through it with. I know now that it is nothing I am doing wrong and I most certainly am not the only one going through it. That, some how, provides me with the strength I need daily to make it through and not run out my front door screaming while pulling my hair out at the roots.
No comments:
Post a Comment